News from the left

It's official – the Nobel Committee endorses Dr. Luc Montagnier (and not Dr. Robert Gallo ) as discoverer (or inventor) of the Aids… I mean… HTLV-III … I mean, LAV… "virus."

  – Dr. Montagnier Gets a Pail-full of Money from Sweden

But which is it? LAV, HTLV-III, or HIV? why all the name changes? Why the quotation marks? Why the bad attitude toward our esteemed Dr. Luc?

Perhaps some of you will be kind enough to come along and help tell the story of Dr. Montagnier, and his amazing "discovery" – stimulated cell-cultures, swollen lymph nodes, window-dressers, and all.

In the meantime, a few quotes to get you started. See if they make you scratch your head even in the slightest, as you try to stick to the orthodox definition, of "Sida." (That's French, you know, just like Dr. M.).

Interviewer: Why no purification?

Montagnier: "We saw some particles but they did not have the morphology [shape] typical of retroviruses … They were very different. Relatively different. So with the culture it took many hours to find the first pictures. It was a Roman effort! It's easy to criticise after the event. What we did not have, and I have always recognised it, was that it was truly the cause of AIDS."

Montagnier: "I repeat, we did not purify." [1] [2] [3]

Interviewer: So the stage of purification is not necessary? 

Montagnier: "No, no, it's not necessary."

Interviewer: Gallo did it?

Montagnier: Gallo? .. I don't know if he really purified. I don't believe so.

Complex stuff! So, what is purification? What is LAV? And what did it do? What was HTLV-III, and where did it come from? What were the proteins from the HTLV-III experiments used to make and manufacture?

But, after all, what does it matter. Sweden has spoken – Montagnier says he didn't need to purify [isolate a virus], and he won the Nobel Prize! (Not Bob Gallo ).

So, I guess we're going with Luc Montagnier's definition of "Sida" from now on? Well, hold onto your hats, and leave your worries behind, and make sure you've got a smile on your face – because it's not the "LAV" that's causing your "Sida," it's….

Montagnier: "I think we should put the same weight now on the co-factors as we have on HIV."

But, what's a co-factor? Is this a cofactor? Do co-factors cause Sida?

And of course, we must immediately stop telling people that being "LAV" positive (LAV is what Lucky Luc called his discovery – a "swollen-lymph-node-associated virus") is a death sentence. According to the expert:

Montagnier: "Psychological factors are critical in supporting immune function. If you suppress this psychological support by telling someone he's condemned to die, your words alone will have condemned him." [4]

Montagnier: "AIDS does not inevitably lead to death, especially if you suppress the co-factors that support the disease. It is very important to tell this to people who are infected." [5] [6] [7]

So, onward and upward. We've got psychological factors to un-suppress, and co-factors to treat! Sida will be conquered! (Even though it's no longer (and never was) a heterosexual problem…unless you're African. So say the experts! So say we all!)